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Birth Order


I never thought that birth order played that much of a part in shaping children’s personalities. Until, that is, my children started to grow up.

When one of them, mentioning no names, started to move away from being a parent pleaser and more towards being a pal pleaser, I started to look into what effect birth order might have had.

This is what I found

First borns are used to watching their parents pouring milk without spilling, colouring in within the lines and other correctly performed tasks. This can lead to perfectionism and the need to excel at school, at being a sibling, at being a son/daughter and other roles they are given. It can lead to frustration if siblings don’t do as they are told and firstborns  can get a reputation for being ‘bossy’.

First Born traits; Perfectionist, achiever, leader, bossy, responsible, motivated, conscientious, controlling, cautious and reliable.

‘Middle child syndrome’, myth or fact? As a middle child you are bound to experience less attention than the fascinating firstborn or the helpless baby and this often results in middle children forming a close group of friends around them as a substitute family. Wanting to differentiate themselves from their  responsible older sibling can often lead to a rebellious phase or two. Having said that, middle children learn that to get what they want they have to be excellent negotiators and are often peace makers with good social skills.

Middle Child traits; Independent, adaptable, go-between, people pleaser, rebellious, peace maker, social, resourceful and secretive.

The youngest is brought up in less of a hot housed atmosphere, where the parents are less cautious and less likely to micro manage their every move. The parents of the youngest have likely felt a sense of nostalgia knowing that this may be their last baby and have, unwittingly, rewarded immature behavior and given them less responsibility.  Hence the youngest child is often free spirited and tends not to attract responsibility. After seeing their older siblings getting the attention by being either an over achiever or a rebel, the youngest learns to seduce people with their like ability and charm and can be the life of the party.

Youngest  Child traits; Social, outgoing, charming, can be manipulative, fun and self centred.

Stereo typical load of guff or accurate?

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